Blog 
PUSHING THROUGH THE DOUBT: REFLECTION ON THE START OF MY DOCTORAL OF BEHAVIORAL HEALTH JOURNEY

One year ago, I was excited to learn that I had been accepted into the DBH program at Cummings Graduate Institute for the Fall 2025 semester. I thought I had a decent idea of what I was getting into, considering I had not done any academic work in twenty years. I told myself, "I've been in the field for years, built a career, and navigated more real-world complexity than any textbook could show." But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for the whirlwind that was my first semester. Not in the sense of "this was a mistake." More like facing a steep learning curve that challenged my assumptions and pushed me far outside my comfort zone. This was my first experience taking online classes. The rigorous coursework, unfamiliar academic expectations, and the challenge of balancing studies with my professional life converged, creating an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. Yet, it was within this whirlwind that I began to uncover new strengths and a deeper sense of purpose.
 

THE SHOCK OF STARTING AGAIN

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Returning to school after twenty years brought a mix of excitement and nervousness. There was a hum of doubt questioning my ability to manage such a big challenge. Can I do this? Being in my fifties, I asked myself, “Will my brain remember to write a paper that isn’t due at 11:59 P.M.?” The DBH program did not ease me in; it threw me straight into systems thinking, biopsychosocial frameworks, the Biodyne Model, interdisciplinary collaboration, and the kind of academic rigor that demands a doctoral student show up fully. One of the biggest surprises was how deeply the Biodyne model aligned with my instincts and values. It gave me structure to the way I already approach human behavior, cultural context, and systemic change. It felt like I was looking for a framework I did not know I had been waiting for, despite past years of academic and clinical knowledge.
 

THE ACADEMIC AND PROFESSIONAL PATH THAT CHANGED ME

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The assignments were more than just coursework. They served as critical building blocks and personal milestones. Each case study, reflection, and discussion post compelled me to examine how I think, practice, and develop as a clinician and a future innovator in healthcare. Through late-night study sessions and moments of self-doubt, I found unexpected support from my classmates and faculty. Their encouragement reminded me that I was not alone on this journey and that asking for help was not a sign of weakness but a resource for growth. Gradually, I began to adapt to the demands of online learning, discovering new strategies to manage my time and stay motivated. These experiences became the foundation of my perseverance, fueling my commitment to keep going even when the path felt uncertain.

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THE MOMENT IT CLICKED

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All of this happened while I was working, managing practice, and holding space for my family. Life did not slow down to make room for my doctorate; if anything, it sped up. It demanded me to be fully present. Somewhere between late-night readings, the case study breakthroughs, and the feedback I received from my professors, I knew I belonged here. I was also honored and privileged to be awarded the Dr. Nicholas Cummings Scholarship. This became my fuel to keep moving forward. I was able to find my rhythm, rediscover my academic voice, and realize that this path is not just possible; it feels aligned with my goals. 

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LOOKING AHEAD

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As I began this new chapter in my life, uncertainty indeed clouded my thoughts. However, each step forward revealed not only challenges but also opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Embracing the journey, I learned to trust the process and my resilience. I can only imagine what is coming next, but I now know something I did not when I first started: I am capable of this. I hope that the work I am doing now will shape the systems. I want to create change, make an impact, and be intentional as a future healthcare disruptor. This program is

more than just a degree; it is a transformation.